With five small children, Linnea found herself at one of her most challenging points as Chambery. mother. Faced with a host of family health issues, including a child with ongoing health complications, Chambery and her husband began to feel like there was no end to their constant struggle with parenthood. But one day, Chambery came across a video on social media discussing – of all things – the color of flamingos.
In the video, content creator Lindsay Gurk said that flamingos may lose their pink color while nursing their young but regain it over time. Using the flamingo as a metaphor for her fellow parents who felt overwhelmed, Gurke reminded them that it was temporary and advised: “If you’re feeling the way you are, maybe you’re feeling a little weak, just keep that in mind. You’ll get through it. All doing it for your chicks.”
Flamingos may lose their pink color while caring for their young but regain it over time. (Source: Pexels)
She quickly added, “We are never given more than we can handle, and we will get our pink back.” In such a dark time, Chambery found a ray of hope. “It hit me in the moment,” Chambery, now 38 and living in Rochester, New York, said in an interview. “It’s going to get better. It’s not going to be like this forever.” What started as a short video years ago has turned into a movement, as Gurk encourages fellow moms to “take back your pink.”
In recent years, about 5.5 million TikTok videos have been posted on the topic. There are thousands of posts on Instagram, long Reddit threads and even Facebook groups dedicated to parents looking for their own approaches to making them feel better. And last week, the movement grew to an even bigger audience after a conversation on Kylie Kelce’s new hit podcast, “Not Gonna Lie,” in which she and her guest, content creator and podcast host Alison Kuch, discussed the concept.
A clip of their conversation has garnered more than 900,000 views in a week on TikTok. In more than 400 comments, some women described how the “pink back” concept inspired them to get flamingo tattoos, while others said they heard about it years ago, when it could help them.
Later period having a baby Founder and CEO of New York’s Motherhood Center Dr. “Baby blues,” or postpartum depression, can come with a range of emotions, including anxiety or psychosis, said Kathryn Berndorff.
Although these topics are more widely discussed now than in decades past, Berndorf said, there are societal expectations for mothers to function fully even as their lives, hormones and bodies are changing.
“You can lose yourself in motherhood,” Berndorf said. “You have to focus on this completely dependent human being, so you lose time, sleep, connection to the outside world, and can feel temporarily very disconnected from who you were and your entire sense of self.”
As a result, it’s important for new mothers to take care of themselves in addition to their identity as parents, Berndorf said.
Gurk, who could not be reached for this article, said in an interview with a CBS affiliate last year that she felt “completely lost” as a new parent, and then she learned the facts about the flamingos. After sharing it on social media, the message took off, with mothers reaching out to them to relay their own postpartum experiences.
In the years that followed, a community formed: on TikTok, Reddit, Instagram and beyond, moms were sharing what helped them “get their pink back.” Although the movement doesn’t promote a specific recipe for feeling like yourself again, or a timeline for how long it will take, women are beginning to offer their own strategies.
Her suggestions for helping other moms feel closer to their pre-baby selves included returning to old hobbies, exercising, returning to work, or showering and getting dressed in the morning.
The movement also became a brand for Gurk, who created his own line of “Get Your Pink Back” merchandise, with many items prominently featuring the signature pink bird that originally inspired him.
One of Gurk’s sweatshirts reached Kuch — a gift from her husband, NFL player Isaac Rochelle — when the couple’s daughter was 3 months old. Kuch, 29, has embraced the movement and used her social media platforms to highlight the concept and share ways to reinvent herself.
“As a mother, you’re constantly running out of your cup, and I think it’s also important to find things to fill it back up,” Kuch said in an interview, adding that the movement prompted her to start working again, plan a trip or just have a cup. Grab a coffee and make time for yourself.
Tammy Conzier, a 40-year-old mother from Pittsburgh, struggled to get pregnant again after experiencing postpartum depression before her daughter was born. But after years of exhaustion, Conzier said she has finally found a rhythm and routine with her husband and her children, now 10 and 5.
“I know what I need from my partner, I know how to parent my kids, I love what I’m doing in my career — it all just clicked,” Conzier said in an interview. “I’m me again.”
For some, “getting your pinky back” means seeking professional help. Crystal Obasanya, a 30-year-old mother and licensed clinical social worker in Dallas, said she experienced postpartum anxiety after the birth of her son and sought weekly therapy as part of her treatment.
Obasanya, who has been sharing her gradual postpartum journey online as a content creator, said she found the message of “it gets better” to be reassuring.
“It’s not an indictment on the rest of your life,” Obasanya said of the postpartum period in an interview. “You will feel joy again. You will have stability. You will feel regulated again. It’s almost like you’re on a train—you’re just passing by.”
For Chambery, the process took time and involved building confidence as a parent and starting her own business. In some ways, she felt like she had her old self back. But there were also new aspects.
“In some ways, I’m bright,” Chambery said. “I’m constantly evolving, and I feel grateful to have made it through.”
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